Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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