I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
