party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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