It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
