sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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