Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
