so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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