Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
