He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
