I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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