Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
