Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
