she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
