upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
even my farts smell like vagina
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
