it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
