Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
