Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Randomize
