Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My penis needs a shock collar
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
