I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
