ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
