It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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