Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
