they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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