I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
