At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
