I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize