It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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