I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
