Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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