Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
