now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
