Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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