who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize