Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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