she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
