Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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