he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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