I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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