they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
