Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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