I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
