this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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