dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He felt like a one man threesome
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
