I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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