just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
