I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
