Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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