just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
