i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
