remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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