We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We're too hungover to prance.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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