Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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