My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
