So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
