dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
