Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
