She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
